Is He Hiding Something? *
What his chart can reveal about his capacity for love, tenderness, and reliability.
By Nicki Michaels
Updated from an article originally published in
Jupiter Magazine, June/July 1990
© Nicki Michaels - All Rights Reserved
It is a crime so unthinkable it makes the blood run cold. Less than two weeks after they had celebrated their fourth wedding anniversary at a romantic inn, and two months before their first child was due, Carol Stuart was brutally murdered by her husband, Charles, in a Boston murder case that rocked the nation. That the Stuarts were perceived by Carol’s friends, neighbors and family as an ideally happy couple only adds to the horror of her tragedy and has women everywhere wondering, "Could this happen to me? Is it possible that the handsome, charming, affectionate and successful man of my dreams is hiding a darker side?"
While the Stuart case
is, of course, an extreme example of
betrayal, many women
know only too well that when it comes
to love, what you see is not necessarily
what you get. Introductions to
prospective suitors used to come primarily
through close friends or family member,
but even that is no guarantee. Remember
Amber Frey, Scott Peterson’s unsuspecting
girl friend, at the time that he murdered
his pregnant wife Lacey? Amber
was introduced to Scott by a friend.
And these days we
are more likely to meet a man through
online dating, at the gym, at a business
meeting or a cocktail party. That
often means we know virtually nothing about
the man and his background beyond what
he chooses to tell us. Under these
circumstances, how can we be truly certain
about a man’s character and circumstances? Our
instincts alone may not be enough to
guide us.
Fortunately, most of
us will, thankfully, never encounter
a Charles Stuart or a Scott Peterson,
but there is still too much at stake
to risk involvement with a con man of
any kind. We all know of women
who have discovered only too late that
their new romantic interest was already
married, needed his credit cards paid
off, or had some other ulterior motive
for the involvement. It is indeed
a sobering experience to discover, after
he has won your heart, that your gallant
prince was, in the end, just another
toad.
In order to protect
ourselves from a broken heart, a depleted
bank account or worse, women are resorting
to extreme measures. It was recently
reported in the press that successful
career women are more often turning to
private detectives to scrutinize everything
from their new love’s previous
relationships to his current credit rating. Needless
to say, hiring a detective can backfire. If
the sleuth is discovered, the relationship
is over before it begins. How,
then, can a woman protect herself from
the pitfalls of love without risking
the loss of a good man? An astrologer
can play the crucial role of
detective in the relationship game, and
can do so without putting the whole relationship
in jeopardy.
But can astrology really
help? Can the most ancient of sciences
give meaningful insights into a new romance? Can
it shed light into the dark recesses
of a lover’s psyche? Is astrology
a valid tool for the modern woman to
use in the game of love? Yes, the
age-old art of synastry (astrological
relationship analysis) is alive and well
and more helpful than ever. But there is a
catch. If you want real insight into
your new man, the tried and true "What’s
your sun sign?" routine simply won’t
do. While
sun sign astrology is fun and can be helpful
to a point, it is much more illuminating
to study the entire chart, and absolutely
necessary if you are sorting the frogs
from the princes.
A Birth Chart
 |
The birth chart (or
horoscope) shows detailed planetary placements
at the specific moment of birth, as seen
from the birth place. To the trained
eye, a complete horoscope reveals
the many layers and complexities of an
individual’s
character. It offers insights into
both the obvious and not so obvious personality
traits so that we understand what we
might expect as well as what to beware
of. And additional valuable
insights can be derived from a comparison
of two birth charts,. In
order to mathematically calculate a horoscope,
an astrologer needs not only the birth
date and place, but also the accurate
birth time. While many men
have this information readily available
and are eager to share it, others do
not or will not. In
that case, an astrologer can work with
less than the ideal components—your
complete horoscope and just his birth
date, but the information gleaned in
this way will be much less conclusive.
Carl Jung, the well-known
psychologist, was also an excellent astrologer
and used astrology in his practice to
assess his patients. More than
50 years ago, Jung collected astrological
data from hundreds of married couples
and observed the highly significant correlation
of particular planetary pairs between
the charts of partners. These
were the traditional pairings of Moon
to Sun and Sun to Moon that date all
the way back to the ancient Greek scientist
and astrologer Ptolemy.
Jung’s studies
demonstrated the beneficial use of astrology
for defining an appropriate mate at a
time when the "Ozzie and Harriet" way
of life was the ideal. But limiting
ourselves to these very traditional astrological
marriage indicators simply does not take
into account the diversity of life-styles
found today. With
relationship stereotypes often not applicable,
astrology’s
purpose is no longer to predict the outcome,
but to describe the possibilities that
a relationship may hold.
And ours is a world
of endless possibilities—of househusbands,
bi-coastal relationships, gay and lesbian
households with children, single women
deciding to start a family without a
dad present, and two-income households
where the wife may very well make more
than her husband. With
our gender and relationship stereotypes
constantly challenged, life is no longer
so predictable, and neither is astrological
relationship compatibility. Because
of the complexity and diversity of modern
personal relationships and family structure,
we no longer depend on the planets to
understand if two people are "meant
to be together." Instead,
astrology is a tool to better understand
the inherent strong and weak points in
a relationship so that the couple who
have chosen to be together can work consciously
toward developing what they consider
to be a successful relationship.
But can astrology actually
identify a Scott Peterson from his birth
chart? That
is entirely another story. It is
unlikely that astrology alone could identify
a sociopath. While the astrological
indicators for a potentially violent personality
do exist, there is no way to certain how
a person will express that potential. Those
indicators of an aggressive nature can
be, and are, in most instances, acted out
in more socially acceptable ways. Most
men with a combative streak will take it
out in the boardroom or on the handball
court, not on the woman they love. However,
astrology can be a very helpful tool in
spotting potential trouble areas early
on—and
forewarned is forearmed! If an astrologer
points out the possible problem in your
new man’s chart, you may be much
more likely to recognize early warning
signs, and to deal with them
promptly. Astrology
can also show the best approach to take
with this particular man when bringing
up difficult issues.
For instance, an astrologer
can identify from a birth chart the man1 who is likely
to have problems with intimacy and commitment,
the one who may run hot then cold without
warning, the man whose sweet persona may
hide a brooding interior, or the one who
is likely to be secretive and reveal only
what is convenient in order to achieve
his desired ends. The chart will
also show if a straightforward, head-on
approach is best with him, or if more subtle
methods are preferable.
But remember, as well
as indicating potential problem areas,
the birth chart also reveals the positive
qualities of a man, such as strength
of character, a warm heart or
a powerfully intuitive nature. It
may reveal that beneath his macho exterior
lies a truly sensitive soul that you
can help nurture.
Astrology can also
indicate the qualities most important
for you to seek in a man. For example,
if your chart shows that you thrive in
high profile social situations, you would
want a man who not only keeps up with
you, but who you can proudly take anywhere—a shrinking
violet just wouldn't do. Your
true prince would never feel threatened
by a dynamic, out-going woman. On
the contrary, he would relish your glory
as much as his own. His chart will
show if he has what it takes to fulfill
your needs.
Synastry Chart
or Chart Comparison
 |
As mentioned earlier,
comparing the planetary contacts between
your two charts can also be extremely
revealing. This is done by placing
the wheels of his birth chart around
yours, and vice versa (see Synastry Chart
diagram). First, for the potential of
a long-lasting relationship to exist,
the parts of the charts related to relationship
and home and family of the two charts
must be activated. Next,
look for significant contacts to the
planet Mercury, named for the mythological
Messenger of the Gods, which presides
over communications. Let's face
it, if two people can understand each
other's viewpoint, and are willing to
discuss problems as well as joys, that
is more than half the battle. Mythologically,
Venus is the Goddess of Love. The planet
Venus represents the ideal woman in the
chart of a man, and the capacity for
enjoyment in anyone's chart. Can you
easily appreciate each other's friends
and share leisure time activities?
Sexual compatibility is revealed through
Mars contacts. While
verbal communication with your love is
important, a satisfying
sexual experience is often the glue in
a marriage. Jupiter contacts reveal
how you are mutually beneficial to each
other. And Saturn
contacts are significant since they represent
the potential for longevity in the relationship—and
these
days, with 50% of marriages ending in
divorce, this factor should not be overlooked. Relationships
without appropriate Saturn contacts probably
will not stand the test of time. Contacts
from the other planets (Uranus, Neptune,
and Pluto) are also significant, as well
as contacts between other powerful points
in each birth chart. Each contact between
charts indicates another layer of subtlety
and connection between potential partners.
So let’s say you find a man with whom you share terrific planetary contacts. He is a 38 year old bachelor and his chart indicates potential intimacy and commitment problems. His life seems to bear this out. Will you be the one to turn the tides? Astrology can help you answer that question, too. It is excellent for pinpointing time periods when a significant relationship is likely to change the life of even the most confirmed bachelor—and your own love life as well.
For a serious, committed
relationship to begin, the appropriate
astrological timing factors must be in
place for both partners. So if
both charts show it is prime time for
Cupid to strike, this frog is more likely
to transform into your prince. Just
kiss on the dotted line. When times
get stormy for you as a couple (which
inevitably happens, even in the best
relationships) astrology can indicate
when the sea of love will once again
become calm, and the best way to resolve
differences.
So if you are looking
for answers about the man in your life,
skip the gumshoe. Discover whether
he is your prince in disguise or just
another frog by consulting your astrologer
and letting the planets be your guide.
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